Director: Tommy Armstrong

Audition Dates:

Friday 8/4 6 - 8 pm

Saturday 8/5  noon - 3 pm

Sunday 8/6  1:00 - 4:00 pm


Show dates: Nov 9, 10, 11, 17, 18, 19 (3p) , 30,

Dec 1, 2


Christmas Eve, a goofy family, nosy neighbors, and two inept robbers make for a laugh-a-minute comedy, especially when one of the burglars helps the women cook the holiday dinner. The hilarity continues right up to the heartfelt holiday ending.


The  Auditions will be readings from the script.  Sides will be available shortly.

Character Descriptions

Dad (Thomas) – M in 40s, 50s. Easygoing, charming, at times clueless. Father of Beth.

Beth – F in teens. Scathing, witty but volatile. Daughter of Thomas.

Mrs. Draper – F in 40s-70s. Anal-retentive, excitable, and a little bat-shit. The family’s neurotic neighbor who wants to make sure Christmas is being celebrated as she believes appropriate.

Bunny – F in 30s-50s. Beth’s aunt. Intrusive “space-invader” who is made innocuous by her cluelessness. She is excitable, especially during times like the holidays.

Bud – M in 30s-50s. Abrasive, happy-go-lucky, and masculine. He loves to get people riled up and is amused by the problems of others. He thinks most things have a simple solution and is happy to tell everyone what that thing is.

Tracy – F in teens. Bud and Bunny’s daughter. Reticent and somewhat awkward in the space of a bunch of people with whom she doesn’t agree. She has her dignity but she’s also somewhat of a snob. 

Aunt Rose – F in 60s-80s. Grandma-without-a-filter. What complicates her is her unconditional love for such a dysfunctional group of people. She speaks as soon as she thinks.

Uncle Leo – M in 60s-80s. Old man whose just going to say what he wants without reacting much to it. Aunt Rose drives him somewhat crazy but he’s used to it. He no longer cares about getting in trouble for telling her when she is crazy.

Tony – M in 30s-50s. A burglar holding the household hostage. Angry, curt, and dismissive. He speaks with a Long Island accent. He’s confident in telling people what to do and has very little patience for those who don’t follow instruction, and during almost every sentence Tony says, he fights to be listened to.

Vinny – M in 30s-50s. An outlaw to whom crime is a foreign subject. Hilariously sensitive. He shows remarkable interpersonal skills and his compassion makes holding people hostage very difficult for him. Mainly wants to connect with people and defend those with whom he’s able to connect. 

Paul – M in teens. Emily’s brother and Beth’s neighbor admirer, expressing both grimness in his style and sweetness in his actions and lines. He is a punk-teenager and a conflicted, compassionate outsider. 

Emily – F in teens. Paul’s sister. Shares a common teenage paranoia of getting in trouble for things that are in no way her fault.

Mrs. Wakowski – F in 30s-50s. Paul and Emily’s mother.Intimidating, protective. Scares people just as much as the burglars do.

Janet – F in 30s-50s. Thomas’ wife and Beth’s mother.Rational, breadwinner. Hoping Thomas (Dad) hasn’t messed up Christmas Eve dinner too bad by the time she gets home, and lo and behold her family and neighbors are being held hostage in her living room by the time she gets back. 

Officer Henley – M or F in 30s-60s. Conventional, familiar police officer. Respects Thomas (Dad) and Janet enough not to jump to any conclusions against their word. 



August 9 at 7:30pm and August 12 at 10:00am.



Wallace, Ohio families are packing for the evacuation of the traditional farming town which is now riddled with soil and water contamination from generations of industrial and agricultural waste. The Woodson family and their friends share hysterical memories, revisit age-old rivalries and romances, and do their best to prepare for the uncertainty of an unknown, unplanned future. Based on a true story, this comic drama was written by Ed Graczyk (author of Come Back to the Five & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean).


3M, 3W

Jennie Woodson (late 50s to Late 60s)

Practical, no-nonsense matriarch of her family with responsibilities that exceed her abilities. Her optimism is tempered by the prospect of restarting her life this late in life. She is the glue that holds this family together.


Harley Woodson (late 50s to Late 60s)

Stubborn, cranky patriarch of his family. After a lifetime of farming, he is addled by cancer and early stage dementia- a cause of fear for him and concern for his wife. Knowing his life is mostly behind him, he struggles to make sense of how he and his family got to this pivotal moment.


Corey Woodson (Mid 20s to Mid 30s)

Harley and Jennnie’s grown son. A responsible son who has never really bonded with his father and realizes his chances to do so are growing slim. A voice of reason that often goes unheard, Corey tries to keep his family together.


Doris Woodson (Mid 20s to Mid 30s)

Corey’s shallow (but not mean-spirited) wife. A keen tag sale woman, she knows the financial value of every item and the history of seemingly all things (except people). Although she doesn’t mean to be insensitive, her funny observations often add to tension in the Woodson family.


Luther Briggs (40s to 50s)

Wallace, Ohio’s funeral director. Soon out of a job, Luther decides to help anyone he can make the move out of town. Unpopular, but respected, Luther is salt-of-the-earth and has a penchant for quoting literature and poetry at just the right moment. He may not look “intelligent”, but his humanity and practical knowledge make Wallace a better place.


Velma Mackey (40s to 50s)

Jennie’s closest friend. Both ladies share a long, funny history of neighbors, friends, and romances. Velma has a hysterical story for every occasion and- like her roses- seems to flourish wherever she goes. She is also in Luther’s sight as his last chance for love.


Questions regarding this event can be made to